(BNN) — This week, kererū proved just how insecure their re-election campaign really is after an anonymous whistle-blower revealed a series of shocking allegations.
A series of shocking allegations against the reigning Bird of the Year featured in what some are calling a “
Kererū quickly hit back by claiming the video was fake news and releasing some alternative truths.
Kererū’s claims don’t hold up under scrutiny and the facts tell a different story. An analysis by BNN’s political experts has revealed several inaccuracies.
CLAIM: Increased chonk by 165%
True — kererū are certainly chonkier than 2017’s Bird of the Year, the kea. But let’s be real, there are rounder options than a mildly overweight pigeon.
CLAIM: Provided free froot to all chicks under the age of five
False — kererū only provide
CLAIM: Doubled meme output
False — kererū published 33 memes during their successful 2018 campaign but only eight since, with a distinct lack of original content.
CLAIM: Made everyone think birds are super freakin’ cool
False — everyone already knew birds are super freakin’ cool before kererū woosh-woosh-thumped drunkenly onto the Bird of the Year scene.
Kererū hit out at the anonymous whistleblower, stating that “while the cowards behind the video have refused to identify themselves, we want to run a clean campaign.” Despite this, kererū have
They have also launched an illegitimate poll that controversially excludes top contenders, such as the takahē. Some birds are even saying it’s a blatant ploy to target swing voters by encouraging other birds to share kererū’s posts.
Pundits are billing this as an unscientific polling method, with
One bird, who declined to be named, was upset that kererū is campaigning for re-election, saying “the whole point of Bird of the Year is to raise awareness for birds in trouble. Kererū should respectfully step aside and share the limelight with one of its fellow birds in need, instead of hogging attention just like it hogs all the froots”.
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