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(BNN) — This week, kererū proved just how insecure their re-election campaign really is after an anonymous whistle-blower revealed a series of shocking allegations.

A series of shocking allegations against the reigning Bird of the Year featured in what some are calling a “straight up attack video“. It was shared exclusively with Feathery Memes for New Zealand Bird Teens and questioned what kererū has actually achieved during its tenure.

Kererū quickly hit back by claiming the video was fake news and releasing some alternative truths.

Facts First

Kererū’s claims don’t hold up under scrutiny and the facts tell a different story. An analysis by BNN’s political experts has revealed several inaccuracies.

CLAIM: Increased chonk by 165%

True — kererū are certainly chonkier than 2017’s Bird of the Year, the kea. But let’s be real, there are rounder options than a mildly overweight pigeon.

CLAIM: Provided free froot to all chicks under the age of five

False — kererū only provide froot until a chick is 10 days old. Some lucky babs get the occasional feed until they are 30–45 days old, but no kererū nugget has been fed until it was five years old.

A juvenile kererū in the nest
Photo by the Department of Conservation

CLAIM: Doubled meme output

False — kererū published 33 memes during their successful 2018 campaign but only eight since, with a distinct lack of original content.

CLAIM: Made everyone think birds are super freakin’ cool

False — everyone already knew birds are super freakin’ cool before kererū woosh-woosh-thumped drunkenly onto the Bird of the Year scene.

Kererū hit out at the anonymous whistleblower, stating that “while the cowards behind the video have refused to identify themselves, we want to run a clean campaign.” Despite this, kererū have published several attack memes themselves, including some aimed at hoiho (yellow-eyed penguin) and kākāpō.

They have also launched an illegitimate poll that controversially excludes top contenders, such as the takahē. Some birds are even saying it’s a blatant ploy to target swing voters by encouraging other birds to share kererū’s posts.

Pundits are billing this as an unscientific polling method, with some even claiming it verges on interference, and drawing comparisons to the Russian hacking scandal in the U.S. Elections.

One bird, who declined to be named, was upset that kererū is campaigning for re-election, saying “the whole point of Bird of the Year is to raise awareness for birds in trouble. Kererū should respectfully step aside and share the limelight with one of its fellow birds in need, instead of hogging attention just like it hogs all the froots”. 

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